Potty strife

Thank you to those of you who commented on my potty woes post. I honestly will take any suggestions or thoughts because I am going out of my mind! Literally this very moment we are in the midst of another huge battle, as I listen to Elijah scream as if someone is cutting off his toes...just because I am making him sit on the toilet after another accident.

We have tried "removing" ourselves and acting as if we don't care one bit whether he goes on the toilet or not. In fact, we still do that. It is TOUGH, but it doesn't seem to affect him. It is so unbelievably hard to stay calm during these hour-long (sometimes more, and sometimes multiple times per day) episodes. It is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do as a parent. All I want to do is scream my head off!

As for the tethered spinal cord, we have considered that. But...he has shown us that he CAN hold it in when he wants to (when he has a raw, sore bottom and it hurts to go). It's worth getting checked, though, and it's something we were planning to do this summer if the chaos continued (which it appears to be doing).

I think it's behavioral, and I just don't feel there is anything more we can try! I am considering consulting a specialist beyond his special ed teachers and OT/PT. It causes such major disharmony for our entire family! I'm at my wit's end!

Full week!

I don't even know where to start! It has been an eventful week. I wish I could report that E's potty/behavior issues are improving, but...nope. In fact, we had a record-breaking "potty event" that lasted over two hours. This is really getting so very very old. Dan and I are out of patience regarding this topic, and it causes strife in our family. I have tried to have some talks with Elijah this week when emotions were calm, and I just don't think he hears me. This is either the biggest power struggle on the planet (no exaggeration) or something just isn't clicking. The chances of it being the first option are, oh, 99%. This boy's will is STRONG. Exceptionally strong. So strong that it is difficult to explain it to people.

A couple "light" things from the week..

Sammy finally started to try to say his name! It comes out "Fuvvy." :) So cute!

Elijah has been talking a lot about what he wants to be when he grows up. He is pretty consistent in telling me that he wants to be a "cooker chef." I tell him that he has to expand his palette if he wants this to happen! He needs to start eating foods that aren't either dairy or carbs! It's so cute, though. I love the idea of having a "cooker chef" for a son! When I ask E what he thinks Sammy might want to be when he grows up, he says, "a fireman!" I love it!

Tomorrow we are having Sammy's 2nd birthday party at the dropzone, just like last year. As usual, I waited until the last minute to plan everything, but it all will get accomplished! We hope our awesome, very loved little Sam will enjoy HIS day. We love that boy so much!

We had the boys' cousin Miya over for a day this week. She is SMART and funny and such a pleasure to have around. Elijah's BIG drama poop episode happened while she was over and she said to me, "Wow. This is really a lot of drama!" And she has 2 sisters and a brother! I said, "Yes, Miya, welcome to our home!" 

This photo is from a while back (taken by Dan's mom in their backyard), but I love it! Looking at it, one would think they thoroughly enjoyed each other! 

And another exciting part of our week was that a good friend of mine from junior high, high school and college is visiting the Cities with her beautiful family. I was SO HAPPY that they invited us to be a part of their family vacation! We were able to meet them for lunch yesterday and for a bit this morning at the Children's Museum. I love reconnecting with "old" friends! Those long-time connections mean so much. Deb and Chad, you have a wonderful little family and we just love you guys!

This morning before Elijah went to school and before Sammy and I met Deb and her family at the museum, the boys were stomping through the house together, both wearing Mama's shoes. I had to keep reminding Elijah not to pull Sammy's arm too hard and fast, but I thought it was so cute that they were enjoying each other and playing together!

Today I noticed a few croup symptoms (runny nose, coughing) from Elijah, so we did all of the preventative stuff that we can possibly do. That last bout has traumatized me a bit, so I am feeling a little bit anxious tonight. We are praying hard for a peaceful, no-croup night! We all want to be healthy for Sammy's big birthday weekend!

I think I covered just about everything! Life is always an adventure! I seem to enjoy and appreciate that adventure (good or bad) more every day. Things are getting easier having Dan away from home and working so much. That's a good thing. If things were getting harder, we would have a very long summer ahead of us!

Thank you for checking in on our family. Have a great weekend, everyone!

Lemons

Had to write this one down quick before I forget!

Elijah was harassing Sammy about something or another, so I said, "Elijah! You're pushing it!'
E: "What am I pushing, Mama?"
Me: "Your limits!"
Long pause...
E: "But why am I pushing my lemons?"

:)

My cutie boys!

Explainin'

Sorry, you guys. Every once in a while things get to a place on this (public) blog that I don't like, and that happened again. I apologize for the deleted post/comments, you guys! I appreciate your feedback, but didn't feel it was a good use of blog time.

Since one person claimed to judge and another inquired about some of my statements in my previous post, I wanted to further explain how we handle Elijah's constant questions.

We provide Elijah with plenty of answers! He is repetitive and inquisitive to the point where it is obsessive. When he asks, "Mama, what's his name? Who is that?!" We provide him with legitimate responses: "I don't know, Honey." Sometimes we say, "Who do you think it is?!" and we let him provide a story. But this doesn't always help. It can go to a place that just is not productive.

No matter what we do or say, Elijah becomes extremely obsessive. As I stated in my last post, Elijah's behavior is not always productive. Yes, he is only 5 years old, but we AS HIS PARENTS, recognize behavior that isn't necessarily appropriate and try to redirect it. We know what is best for him, and we love him more than anything in the world (right along with Sammy!).

Please trust that we are caring for him as best as we possibly can. We love this boy!

We have been on a long journey with Elijah and I sometimes assume that everyone reading knows us as a family. I realize this is not the case, so I will be sure to explain things as well as possible from now on!

Productivity

One of my main thought patterns lately has revolved around productivity. I am constantly thinking back to my working-full-time days and how unproductive I was in every aspect of my life. I literally scraped by for years, not doing much beyond the bare minimum. But NOW...if I am not doing something that is genuinely productive in some way, I feel like I am letting myself (and my family) down. And it feels good! I actually accomplish worthwhile things these days! At the end of (almost) every day, I feel great about what I have accomplished, even if that just involves giving my boys tons of love.

I have also been more aware of my boys' time and how productive they are. I allow Elijah to play Angry Birds for about 10 minutes every day, and that is IT. It is not a productive use of his time, but in very small doses I'm fine with it. Elijah is SMART, so so smart. He is constantly asking questions..."What's his name? Where is he going? Whose car is that? Whose horn was that?" (seriously, CONSTANTLY)...so in the past few days I have started telling him that the answers to those questions aren't necessarily productive.

We need to start directing his inquisitive nature toward productive activities. Things that are going to stimulate his smart brain (not Angry Birds). So tonight I asked Dan to begin chess lessons!

He did pretty well for his first time! I need to figure out what other productive activities I can place before him this summer because it will be here quickly! Hours on end at home without cognitive stimulation=not good for our 5-year-old.

I did not have this inquisitive nature when I was his age. This is all new to me. I am hoping we can feed his need for obtaining all kinds of information in productive ways!

1st heart anniversary!

Today is the 5-year anniversary of Elijah's first open heart surgery! We are so proud of how far you have come, our brave boy! I will never forget that day, and the days to follow. Daddy, Sammy and I love you so very much.

Sammy and Elijah are drawn to each other. They always want to sit in the same chair together, even though they start swiping at one another's faces after 60 seconds. They are becoming more and more interactive, but usually things don't end well. Dan and I have to be ON those two so they don't harm one another! But we know they love each other very much.

Sammy is constantly letting out a stream of sounds that don't always make sense. Elijah, with his obsessive/perfectionist tendencies, has to know EXACLY what Sam means to say every time he speaks. "What does DAH-DERRR mean???" This is seriously a constant stream, and it can get rather annoying. We have to remind Elijah all the time to be patient with Sam and his speech. One of the words Sammy says a lot is his word for CRACKER, which comes out STATUE. Elijah gets almost mad at Sam, saying, "He's saying STATUE! WHAT is he saying?!" This goes on and on and on. "Elijah, please be patient with your brother." "Sammy, please stop screaming the word CRACKER."

Sammy has a few fears that have been existent since he was a baby. He does not like loud noises (cars, motorcycles, airplanes) and there have been a few balls that he has been truly frightened of (??). For the past few days he has been TERRIFIED of the bath. I'm talking exorcist-like screaming and thrashing, and I am not kidding one tiny bit. I put him in the bath tonight, and then started fearing that he might drown himself. This lasted just long enough to get his hair barely wet. It was terrible! If our neighbors were anywhere near our windows, they must have thought an exorcism was taking place! I have no idea what is going on with that.

I have been trying to teach Elijah appropriate behavior lately. He sooo likes to be silly and say silly things, but those silly things are not always appropriate. He and Sammy like to make animal noises and call each other different animals, but he has to learn that calling a girl at the park a "cow" isn't necessarily nice. So we have been going over all of that. He started calling me "old lady" a few weeks ago, just because he doesn't know any better. I have started telling him that that isn't a nice thing to say to people (after hearing him call his OT an "old lady"), so we are working on alternative phrases. Tonight I taught him to call me, "Pretty lady!" :) I'll take it!

And here is when they start to get annoyed with each other...

We are also working on NOT POINTING FINGERS.

This week flew by! We have no idea what is in store for the weekend since our lives revolve so much around the weather. Have a fun, safe weekend, everyone! Thank you so much for checking in!

Potty, poo, dz and bro love

Friday while Elijah and Sammy were sitting in the blue chair watching Super Why on my phone, E said, "Mommy?" I peeked around the corner and said, "Yes?" He did the sign for potty. I asked him if he had to go potty and he said, "Yes!" and ran to the bathroom. And went. With no complaining. And his pants were totally dry. Hmmm. I'll take it! He never tells us that he has to go potty and never initiates it on his own. I'm hoping this is a step in the right direction! Then he kept his underpants dry during nap time, which is a big deal. He did pretty well over the weekend with just a few accidents.

I took E to see his urologist today for the first time in a couple years. We wanted to completely rule out having any physical hindrances to using the toilet. What we found was a little bit surprising! Without getting too descriptive, he is very backed up. This is something we did not think was an issue AT ALL. I was shocked. And apparently this can be a reason for delayed success in potty training. We will attempt to take care of that, which will hopefully help out a bit. If things aren't improved in three months, we will take him back for a renal ultrasound to make sure everything in his kidney is functioning properly.

Before we arrived at the hospital today, I said to Elijah, "Wouldn't it be fun if we saw Dr. Gremmels while we are here?" And sure enough, just as we were walking to the elevator, Dr. G walked out. It was quite the coincidence since he is one busy man! We chatted for a bit, he asked E how he was doing and told him he liked his haircut. Elijah was beyond excited to see his most favorite doctor! It was a nice little surprise for us. We love Dr. G!


I wrote these on Facebook the other day, but thought I would share these Elijah funnies from the day:


While eating his SpongeBob mac-n-cheese I saw him scrutinizing one of the noodles. "Look, Mom! It's the Eiffel Tower!" I looked at it closely and said, "Uhh, I think that's Patrick, honey." "Oh."

Then he saw a photo of Ryan Gosling and said, "Look at THAT guy! He's so cuuuute!"


Upon learning he could play Angry Birds for a bit after breakfast, Elijah happily said, "I WOVE YOU, MAMA! Happy Christmas, sleepy lady!"

I'm not sure if I have mentioned on here how much Sammy loves the tv show Super Why. It's a show on PBS and if there were any show for my child to be obsessed with, it would be that one. They review letters, uppercase and lowercase, and small words, and they also teach a good moral lesson during each episode. I realized a few weeks ago that Sammy knows his letters, thanks to this show. 


We had a fun weekend at the dropzone. Exhausting, as usual, but it is always fun. The boys ran and played so hard that they will need to go to bed early for at least three nights to catch up!

The other day while Elijah and I were lying down for a nap (he has been taking naps since being sick last week, which is NICE), he said to me, "Mama? I fink we should get Sammy a piñata for his birthday."
Me: "Oh, that would be fun!"
E: "Yeah. I fink it should be a cupcake piñata."
Me: "What a thoughtful idea!"
E: "Yeah. And I fink we should get him a Super Why toy. From Target."
Me: "Wow, honey! That is really thoughtful!"
E: "And we should have his party at the dropzone again this year and let him eat cake."


As un-kind as he is to his brother a lot of the time, this was so nice to hear. He loves his bro! Today after spending most of the day away from him (Dan had Sam with him while E and I ran from school to the doctor to OT/PT), Elijah said, "I want to see Sammy!" :)


Here we are, at the start of another week! Have a great one, and thanks for checking in.

More sickness and a great kindergarten meeting

I mentioned that E had a slight fever last night, right? Well this morning he had another, but it was super low-grade, and technically not even considered to be a fever. I should have known, though, since his "normal" is well below 98.6. He went to school and all seemed to be fine. I brought him and Sammy to their old daycare for a few hours this afternoon so I could get a few things accomplished. When I picked them up Elijah felt fine and was acting fine. He was his usual chatty self on the car ride home. We walked in the door and I turned around to find Elijah lying on the couch. I asked him if he was ok and he said, "No, Mama. My tummy hurts." I took his temp and it was 101.5. Then he started pointing to his chest and saying that hurt, too. Of course my mind went straight to his heart, and panic was starting to set it. I called the doctor and they wanted us to come in right away.

He has a double ear infection and strep! What the heck?! He has never in his life had strep, and only once before had an ear infection. So we are on antibiotics for 10 days, and contagious for 24 hours. Sammy got tested, too, and so far so good.

We had a ton of fun weekend plans! :( If everyone is feeling ok tomorrow evening (post-contagion), we will resume said plans.

Elijah's kindergarten prep meeting this morning went great. His current teacher provided the new staff information about Elijah, every little piece of information she could think of. And based on what she had to say today, she knows that boy pretty darn well. He has been sooo blessed with amazing care! After she was finished talking, I had the thought that nobody (besides Dan and I) could have explained him any better.

His current teacher explained his "quirks" (tendency to talk gibberish when anxious, arm flapping and tendency to get obsessive about things) his deficiencies (gross motor and anxiety surrounding that and also his need for assistance with potty still) and his strengths (social skills and his brains). The new staff seemed very receptive to everything and by the end of the meeting they were super excited to meet him.

His current teacher and Dan and I all requested that he receive the most nurturing kindergarten teacher possible. He really does need a good balance of nurturing with a sprinkling of firmness. Without the firmness, his smart manipulative side tries to get people to do everything for him. Those who know better know that he is a very capable little lad!

Back when we went to kindergarten round-up last month, the three Jackson kindergarten teachers were lined up and immediately upon seeing them I pointed to one and said, "That's her. That's the one." I knew immediately which one would be best for Elijah. Later, when we were checking out the classrooms, I approached her (fighting back tears) and introduced ourselves. She was very kind and warm. I loved her immediately. I have had it in my mind since then that she would be "the one" that I have been praying for since he was born.

Well, guess what?! She just happened to be in the meeting today! She said she remembered us and was again very kind. I told Dan when we left, "That's her!" :) I hope so! We will find out in July for sure.

I can't say enough how blessed we feel, and have always felt, about the care Elijah has received. Thank you, God!

Thanks for checking in! Please pray with us for NO CROUP tonight.